Why I am bad at Papers, Please

Papers, Please was a game that I had heard of multiple times before playing it, and when I finally did so, the game left me feeling helpless and under the power of the regime. When I first opened it up, I kept trying to figure out what exactly I was doing. Honestly, by the time I had figured it out, I was in massive debt and was sent to jail. I was really upset by this and this affected me throughout my other attempts as I tried to not be jailed and keep my family from starving to death. Each time I got a pink slip, my heart skipped a beat because that meant I had lost money and was failing my family. At one point during the game, I got a pink slip, and soon after that someone died and I felt guilty for it. I felt so guilty that tried not to let through as often and I tried to follow the rules as closely as possible. Now, because I was so meticulous and because I followed behind the government so readily, I was not making the right choices by helping people and my family was dying. And yet I still ended up in jail after trying to be so cautious and by trying to be helpful. I honestly felt after playing it that the regime would always defeat me. Each time the game ended, it was at the hands of the government. I corrupted myself and my ideals to not be detained, and I still could not save myself from the hands of this regime. When I played, I got too deep. I felt that I was this man, that I had a gun to my head for the entire game. I felt that each pink slip was them firing the gun, and that I was praying that each one would be a blank.

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