Every Saturday night I’m not working security at the Powerhouse, you can hear screams coming from my Cohan room. Recently, the cause of that has been an out-of-this-world increase in the local arachnid population whose only goal seems to be to eat me alive, but other than that… Yeah, I’m Serbian, but I assure you I’m not slicing people up and keeping severed limbs in my drawers (or otherwise we would’ve received an email from Biddy already). And unfortunately, my girlfriend is currently in Ireland, so it’s not *that* either. Nah, it’s actually just me drunkplaying videogames.
If you’ve ever had the misfortune of playing Mortal Kombat with me, you know I’m the true master of sodium chloride. I breathe salt. I speak salt and I sweat salt (okay, that last one is actually true for everyone). What my drawers do in fact hold is a bunch of controllers I threw at the wall in a fit of rage. Long story short, I get mad at videogames. The better I am at a game, the worse it is – as soon as someone manages to beat me, I’ll be demoralized and go on a losing streak (except in League of Legends; the number of trolls, feeders and AFKs in all of my games reminds me how much salt can ruin a team game, so I tend to maintain my composure). Except when I’m tipsy, see.
Then, I just laugh like a maniac at everything. Every missed X-ray move, every win cheesed out by spamming teleport and nothing else, every time I fall off a building in Remember Me – all absolutely hilarious. Every non-combo punch I land – OMG DUDE DID YOU SEE THAT THAT WAS BADASS MOM GET THE CAMERA. All the games I tryhard by day moonlight as games with entirely different objectives. Gran Turismo? Oh, you mean that game where you speed up to 270 mph and crash into a wall to see if it’ll break the physics engine? Assassin’s Creed? Oh, that game where you just walk and walk and walk and have a fun time content surfing? Oh wait, that’s sober AC too.
Anyway, while I’m not promoting getting blackout drunk and while it’s important to take into account that YMMV, indulging responsibly while playing with friends can make for a much more relaxed experience, especially if you’re struggling with excessive competitiveness. Your controllers will be grateful.