Am I really just selling myself?

**This post is not referring to internet trolls. It refers to important people in my life. If it were internet trolls I would easily ignore it.**

I almost don’t want to bring this up again. However the past few days have been a complete disaster for me. All of it is being caused by the fact that I am in fact a female who streams video games.

I was told that I’m selling myself. And the comment didn’t come from some internet troll that I can just ignore and move on with my life.

I was told that I’m just seeking male attention. And money. Again, this wasn’t a message on a screen that I can choose to ignore.

I was told that I should give up one of my favorite hobbies: streaming video games.

At this point, I don’t even know how to move forward. Explaining doesn’t work. I tried that. I tried to say that when I stream I’m not flashing my boobs, trying to elicit money and compliments. I tried to say that I’m doing what I love, making people happy, being cheerful, building a community to talk with about games.

But it seems it’s of no use. I’m met with comments like: “You don’t know who’s watching you.” “You don’t know what they’re doing while watching you.” “You spend too much time playing, it’s unhealthy.”

Those are hurtful, but not the worst.

“You only do this for attention.” “You don’t even like video games.” “You let others manipulate you into doing this.”

What I don’t get is how I can say flat out:

“I love doing this. It is a huge passion of mine. I get to play games and cheer people up. What’s not to love.”

And I am met with:

“You don’t like it. You’re only doing it because someone else told you to.”

What can I say to change someone’s mind and make them see that this is fully my choice? That this is what I love? That I’m not just selling myself, putting my body out there in order to get money and attention?

I’m at a loss here.

6 thoughts on “Am I really just selling myself?

  1. There’s a brilliant scene in G.I. Jane, a fictional film about the first woman accepted into the Special Forces training. I would link to it for you if I could find it. But basically the woman, Jordan O’Neil, is sitting down with a counselor and has the following conversation:
    Blondell: Lieutenant, why are you doing this?
    Jordan: Do you ask the men the same question?
    Blondell: As a matter of fact: yes, I do ask them.
    Jordan: And what do they say?
    Blondell: “Cause I get to blow shit up.”
    Jordan: Well, there you go.

    You stream for the same reasons anyone else streams. And being a woman should not prevent you from doing what you love by any means. Please keep streaming. You got this.

  2. I know you’ve probably heard this a hundred thousand times and you’ve already tried it as well but seriously, just ignore it. In the Youtube community, so so so many people have risen to fame and popularity through this form of media but I assure you, every single one of them has received some negative comment, criticizing their looks, their intentions, their every move. Even celebrities — I’m not sure if you’ve seen the videos of celebrities reading mean tweet about themselves — have to endure this, but really, anyone exposing themselves to the world through the internet/media/etc will go through some sort of harassment. I’m really sorry that this is happening to you and I wish I could do something to help. 🙁

    1. I can’t ignore it. This time it wasn’t some internet troll. It’s people in my life that I can’t just ignore.

    2. It really isn’t internet troll harassment. My asking for help is me trying see if anyone has ideas how to convince someone that this is okay for me to do. Not some random guy on the internet but some of the most important people in my life who don’t understand it, don’t want to understand it, and just want it to stop. I’m not complaining about people on the internet, I can ignore that just fine.

  3. You’re right they don’t understand, but most importantly it appears they don’t want to understand. If these people truly care about you they wouldn’t think you’re lying. Obviously, I and others don’t know the situation, but it appears these people are coming from a stance of jealousy. If your supposed friend can’t understand why you like doing something after you explain it to them either 1) stop interacting with them because they appear to be a shitty friend or 2) just don’t expect them to be able to relate to this lifestyle choice you choose. I love to go to clubs and raves. One of my best friends absolutely hates that about me. That’s his prerogative so I just don’t bring up that part of my life when around him and we’re still able to be good friends and interact on other common interests.

  4. Honestly, if they cannot stand by your decision even after you acknowledge their concerns and even explain to them that, no you are not selling yourself and this is something you enjoy, then don’t you think they may be childish and stubborn? You are an adult, and thus should stand by your decisions that you make through much consideration. Also, who are they to put words into your mouth say that you don’t like it and is being manipulating into doing so even after stating the contrary? If this person(s) is flat out denying the fact that it is something you love, then I’m not sure how you could rectify or resolve this..

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